IF BUYERS ARE LIARS, THEN I'M THE BIGGEST ONE OF ALL
Although I pride myself on being pretty darn patient with my clients who are searching for that perfect home here in Alexandria and while I assure them they should take as much time as they need to feel comfortable with their home buying decision, wow, until I started going out with my husband out to look for a new house for us, I was not prepared for what a PITA client *I* was going to turn out to be.
After looking at dozens of homes (not to mention dozens more online), all of which met our needs ON PAPER, I realized the other night how seriously out-of-control I apparently was when I heard my husband uttering these words, "well, with the dirt that they dig up for the new pool, they could fill in the other pool and we could build the patio over that. We wouldn't have to worry about removing the other pool."
The problem he was trying to solve? A house we sort of like has an enclosed pool adjacent to the house but I don't like where the pool is.
Sigh.
When my husband starts talking about filling in a practically-new-perfectly-good-not-inexpensive pool in order to build another not-inexpensive pool (something in which he has absolutely zero interest, I must add), something is seriously out of whack in the universe. (Or perhaps he is as tired of the indecision as I am and simply wants it to be over). Of course, if I LOVED LOVED LOVED the house, I wouldn't be making such a big deal over the pool...problem is, I want to like the house, but, I just don't even though it has every single thing - every thing - I said I wanted.
We have seen a number of houses we really like, all of which come with "but we would need to...." qualifiers ranging from the simple to the ridiculous. Electric cooking? Blech. Electric heat? No way. One full bath? Really? Seriously? No. What do you mean, this area doesn't have cable? How do you get, uh, your high speed internet? Oh, you don't. Hmmm...no.
Is the perfect house out there? I don't know. Have I have done a 180 degree turn from my "ABSOLUTELY-MUST-HAVE-NO-COMPROMISE-CONSIDERED" list? Oh, yeah. And the hunt continues, with ever expanding parameters.
Sometimes as an agent - I readily admit and suspect I am not alone - I get a wee bit frustrated when I have looked and looked and previewed for clients only to have them say, "nope, this isn't it" when everything - EVERYTHING!!! - is telling me it SHOULD be it. How can this NOT BE IT? Come on! It has absolutely everything you told me you wanted. Seriously, this really isn't it?
It's even more frustrating when they suddenly start sending ME listings they have found in LISTINGBOOK that aren't AT ALL what they told me they wanted...frustrating because I feel *I* should have found those listings for them, but...but...but they weren't what they said they wanted.
But, I do understand. Totally. Sometimes we really DO have to look at a lot of properties - and a lot of totally different properties - before our clients can start to hone in on what their priorities REALLY are. Sometimes what they discover surprises even them.
While it is critical to listen to what our clients say, it's also important to be a little creative in our searches, too....and when it becomes apparent they are no longer sure of what they really want, it's even more important to have our antennae up for those important clues that will help us help them.
Through it all, we need to be flexible and empathetic - folks cannot always articulate WHAT they want until they have had a chance to work through some things in their minds and with each other.
At the end of the day, we need to go with the flow sometimes and trust our client's intuition. And we also need to resist the impulse to call them liars.
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Susan - I really appreciate your post. I would make this observation as well - while we may be agents in our professional life - we become buyers and sellers when we are the principals. Just because we "know better" doesn't mean that the emotional component of the selling/buying activity is absent. If anything it's worse - likely we have seen exactly what we want, somewhere, sometime in our careers! Thanks for sharing.
I hope that you are able to find what you are looking for. I always say that buyers are not liars, we just need to ask better questions. I am constantly tweeking the criteria for my buyers as I notice things that they like and dislike. Sometimes it turns up something that was not originally found in the search. Good luck with your personal search!
I agree with Karen- Buyers aren't liars (though it feels like they are), they just don't have enough facts and experience yet to KNOW what they REALLY want.
That's why we have jobs.
I think its real hard to know what you want in a house until you get out there. Good luck with the search.
Susan, I LOVE this post! There are so many of us that in the rush of our jobs, don't put ourselves in the buyer's shoes. I have been in that boat..."Whadda ya MEAN this isn't the one???!!!". Lol.
To me HOMES are very much about feel, oft not finishes and what everyone has to have to be like the folks on HGTV. The perfect home might not be out there when you work from a checklist. The Home is what you make out of the house that you purchase :).
I wish you all the best in your search! Dare I send a case of antacid?
always the best for ya, dear Susan
Jack: Thanks for the comment; the emotional component is probably the most important part, totally.
Karen: Absolutely. We need to ask better questions.
Waynette: Exactly. Even the ones who are so certain they know what they want, won't always know until they get out there.
Dr Stacey: I totally agree!
Bill: LOL It has been fun, actually, although part of me wishes we had made a decision already. For me, it is an evolving process...some priorities are moving down the list, others are coming up the list...at the end of the day, you're right, It's what you make of a house that makes it a home. (Still, I gotta have my high speed internet!)
I think sometimes it's just a matter of knowing it when you see it, not what we think we want.
Christa: I think you are absolutely right; it's amazing how much people will give up when they do find the house that feels just right for them.
I am my own worst buyer and I sound alot like you! The problem for me is that I see too many houses and can't commit because my brain is too full of information and opinions. One day, I'll get over it and buy!
Shelley: I see too many houses and like a bit of this one and bit of that one, but never do I see one that is totally what I want...I'm beginning to think it's ME! LOL
I know exactly what you mean. You're waiting for your house to hug you...welcome you with open arms. I went through it and 90% of my buyers go through it. It'll happen. Hang in there.
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Chris Ann: Thanks! I love the phrase "waiting for your house to hug you" - that's it!
Love this! How lucky are your buyers going to be with you on their side? You get it! (maybe a little too well? LOL) Love Chris Ann's hug reference--so very true! And somewhere out there is one just waiting to give you a big squeeze. (pool relocation not required!)
Good luck with the hunt, and you'd better keep us posted on your adventures!
Wow - we again think alike (whoda thunk?). I'm getting ready to post a blog with a nearly identical title! Good stuff and it always blows me away when agents don't understand why a buyer changes his mind or needs to look at more than 3 houses in order to pony up to the offer table. Have these agents never shopped for a house themselves??? Great post.
Oh, Susan. I hear ya. On the flip side, when you DO find "the one" you'll be quick to pull the trigger, write an awesome offer, and not be a PITA about inspections.
I wrote a post a long time ago about how everyone thinks they know what they want, but in reality, you don't. No one does. You just really fall in love with a house. I mean, it's like saying you like blonds. You could meet a million blonds and then you meet that redhead and just...wow...he's a total catch and you fall in love.
I really do equate finding a house as falling in love.
Kim: Thanks! I just hope none of them take after me...will make for a very long hunt! LOL
JA: Funny thing is, it has usually only taken me a day in the past to make a decision...LOL...thanks for the comment!
Heather: Good analogy - and do we want a temporary crush or a meaningful relationship? The analogy could go on and on. Love it!
I think that so much of house buyin g is emotional. I tell my customers that when they find that right house they will know it. It wll talk to them and they will just know that it is home.
Most times it seems that is the way it happens, though not always.
You can't force someone to buy a house, they have to know the house is right for them/
Good to look at it from the other side for once. Will make you a better seller remembering what the buyer felt.
Hi Susna, Another excellent post! Your efforts are appericated.
Susan:
One of the best lessons I have for working with buyers is a reflection on my own home buying experiences. I broke a lot of my own rules by getting too emotional over my purchase. Thinking back on the times that I was in the buyer's seat gives me a great deal of empathy when dealing with my clients.
All agents aren't psychic and omniscient? :)
Donna: How right you are! I've always said I am not selling anything! I'm helping people buy and sell homes. Houses aren't widgets!
Randy: Good point!
Dan: Thanks for the compliment.
Claudette: It is one of the best lessons - and makes us so much better at what we do.
Liz and Bill: Don'[t we wish we had a crystal ball sometimes? ;-)
Buyers today know what they want and sometimes it can be tough to find it. Searching for a ranch right now for a boat-yep a boat. But the house has to work as well. And we may have found it.
Susan - I enjoyed reading your post. It's so true, we think we've found the perfect home and we're so excited to show our buyer and then they walk in immediately "no ..don't like it" and we think silently what????.... but it's when things turn around you understand.
Good Luck searching your home!
Corinne: Oh, wow, that's a tall order! Good for you in (maybe) having found it!
Zuri: Thank you! That happens frequently, doesn't it? :-)
good luck with your house hunting. i'm sure you'll find the perfect one.....i believe it's out there!
Chris: Thanks! It must be out there, surely...I have never had this much trouble before, though, it has knocked me for a loop.
I think, that along with specifications on paper (# of BR & BA, style, size), one should look at properties that differ in one way or another, and OBSERVE how buyers REACT to specific houses and features. I mean emotionally. Do they have an unspoken questions "why on earth would someone PAY for this shed?" (or ask this you directly), are they hesitant to leave the house, do they sit down on the couch and look out the window?...
I showed a house yesterday, that was "different" in many ways, yet it has something about it, and buyers loved it. That's what they told me immediately. It was at the end of our outing, they were a bit tired and hungry (we were discussing lunch on our way!), yet they felt energized and happy once there... It's a good sign. They were surprised that they liked it so much. It's very different from what they usually like. But it's in the specified area and within the price range.
We'll see what happens, it's too early to say anything, but it was an important experience for me, too - to know what "speaks to their heart".
Perfect example of "don't judge someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes". Like you, once I became a buyer and a seller, I gained a lot of insight into how buyers and sellers think. .. and that insight made me a better agent.
Anna: Excellent advice! Don't you love it when things work out like that? I hope this is the "one for your clients!
Mary Ann: You are absolutely right! I have bought and sold many houses over the years personally but have never had this much trouble making a decision.
I was just going to say exactly what Mary Ann said above about stepping into their shoes. It's a good reminder that they often don't know that what they NEED is different than what they WANT and their focus may be on something completely different than what they are truly going to be happy with. I like what Karen Feltman said above as well about asking better questions. That is going to give me some food for thought.
Thank you for your post and good luck your search!
Dee: Great points! Thanks!
I almost eliminated a home from a list of showings the other day because, while it had some of the things the client seemed to want, there were some (supposed) deal breakers. Turns out, they liked it the best by far just because of the feel of the neighborhood. You never know til you look!
Julia: Absolutely true! Good for you their "list" didn't stop you for continuing to search for just the right home.
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In the meantime, T Hoffer, isn't it beyond your bedtime? Go back to your parents' basement and try to think about what you are going to do when you grow up.
Hello again, Susan. I hope the AR Gods do something with the spam advertising that appeared above me. You have a great Real Estate discussion going and to have someone spam everyone...well...I reported it and we will see.
I am so patient with buyers "in flux". It is such a huge decision for most people. I guess sometimes we get a bit clouded about the service aspect of real estate, when there is the promise of a paycheck dangling elusively over the horizon. You will find the almost perfect home, Dearie, and then you guys will make it perfect because it will be a HOME then!
always the best...
Bill: You have the patience of Job! And you are right, this is a service industry. Thanks!
Susan, cracks me up...we are our own worst clients! I have sold two houses, that I would have bought for myself, but gave my clients first crack and they jumped. Yvette
Yvette: Isn't that always the way? And, of course, clients have to come first! ;-)
More and more often Liars are getting caught out. Whether it be Buyers who think they are "sophisticated" or Buyer Agents who think that law enforcement will never catch them at their game of fraud - slowly but surely these folks are being eliminated from the real estate equation....
Tony and Suzanne: Thanks for the comment.
So true. With some clients I have to throw out everything they say they wanted and then we finally find them a house. It is very enlightening to be on the other side of the table. What a great experience to have to remind you.
Tni: Absolutely! They just don't always know what they want until they see it. As someone said in a post a few months ago, "Saying 'I don't like it" is a perfectly good reason for not liking a house." And she was so right! It is not as easy as it seems it should be sometimes.
I am usually very decisive. But if and when I ever move again, it will be the last move of my life and I think I would be a real PITA as well. Take your time. The house is out there. xxoo